In a world that favours the wealthy, life on a tight budget can be daunting. But fear not! With the right approach, anyone can assert themselves to achieve their goals.
Here are ten top tips to help us all get what we want while still keeping our composure.
1. Know Our Rights
Understanding our rights is key to getting the upper hand. Whether it’s knowing our consumer rights when making a purchase or understanding the government support we’re entitled to, knowledge is power.
Waleed, from London, is retired and was struggling to make ends meet when he was put in touch with Clean Slate (which produces these Quids in! guides). He had no idea he was eligible for a social tariff, offered under various names by most of the big broadband providers. “I’ve gone from paying £504 a year to £180. I’ve already informed most of my friends about it, so hopefully some of them can get a better deal too,” he says.
Also, we should ‘know what’s out there’. If we’re going out to buy something, checking what it costs online (where things can often be cheaper) helps us know if we’re being ripped off or not. We can also look at customer reviews and make sure it does what we want, without a sales person talking us into it.
Top tip: Check Amazon first to compare prices.
2. Prepare and Plan
Before embarking on any endeavour, we should take the time to plan our approach. Whether it’s asking for a better deal on a utility bill or asking for a raise at work, preparation is key. Dr. Amanda Gummer is an expert on how to prepare for difficult discussions. She says “anticipating possible scenarios and preparing responses in advance.”
When making an insurance claim, for example, assume they’ll say ‘no’ initially. Check the policy and be ready to ask to speak to a supervisor or to call back another time to try again. It’s the same with some benefits like Disability Living Allowance where many people are refused at first but four in five claims are approved on appeal.
Top tip: The internet is our friend. We should look up questions to ask and prepare our responses when things might not go our way. Writing things down is a good way to stay on track and keep a record.
3. Be Assertive, Not Aggressive
There’s a saying: If you swear or lose your temper, you’ve already lost the argument. Usually, the person we want to be angry with is just doing there job and they don’t have much say in decisions. There’s a fine line between being assertive and aggressive.
Assertiveness involves expressing our needs and wants respectfully, without infringing on the rights of others. As Dr. Robert Alberti, author of “Your Perfect Right,” suggests, “Assertiveness is about finding a balance between passivity and aggression.”
Top tip: Be ready to say “I know it’s not your fault and maybe you can’t help. Can I speak to a manager, please?”
4. Listen Actively
Listening is a powerful tool in negotiation. Take time to listen to the other party’s perspective and concerns. This shows empathy and works towards mutual benefit. Negotiation expert William Ury emphasises the importance of “listening to understand, not just to respond.”
Top tip: A strong way to respond in a disagreement is to ask if we’re understanding what they’ve said, repeating it back. If we have, then ask again how we can get what we want.
5. Embrace the Power of ‘No’
Don’t be afraid to say no when necessary. Whether it’s declining a purchase that doesn’t align with our budgets or refusing unreasonable demands, setting boundaries is essential. The Money saving expert, Martin Lewis, advises: “Saying no can be liberating and empowering.”
It’s not just about turning down offers or refusing to be impressed by a sales pitch, it’s also about not accepting a response. This could even be a GP’s diagnosis if we really, really think it’s wrong and need a second opinion.
Top tip: It’s okay to walk away. Leave and think over whether we can accept the response or the offer. Returning to say “I’ve had a think…” and starting the conversation again is okay. It is also totally okay to go somewhere else to get advice, a second opinion, or try for a better deal – we’ll be a bit more informed this time too.
6. Make use of social support
Don’t be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or community resources. Whether it’s seeking advice on a challenging situation or enlisting help in negotiating a better deal, there’s strength in numbers. Psychologist Dr. Emma Svanberg highlights the importance of “building a support network to lean on in times of need.”
Just having someone with we can level the playing field because it’s harder to fob off two people or sell them more than they came in for. Quids in! reader Sonia told us:
“I needed a watch battery but it was as expensive as the watch itself. I went into a jewellers with my son-in-law. He didn’t say much but I felt the shop assistant was being more honest. In the end I bought a lovely new watch. I even got ten per cent off with their ‘scrappage scheme’, which my son-in-law reminded me to ask for.”
Top tip: This is where people with money start with an advantage as they’re more likely to have friends in high places. There’s something to be said about things like joining the school PTA or a social club to widen our social circle, and maybe rub shoulders with a doctor or solicitor who could be useful one day.
7. Be Patient
They say good things come to those who wait but patience doesn’t mean taking no action. We still need to set things in motion but it can sometimes take a while. We need to keep checking that things are moving and that we haven’t been forgotten, with a phone call or an email. We also want people to know we are not just going to go away. We don’t have to be a nuisance to benefit from the ‘nuisance factor’, where it would be easier to just give us what we want.
Top tip: Set reminders to check in. If things aren’t going our way after a while, we might want to think of some new ways to go about getting what we want.
8. Celebrate Small Victories
Acknowledge and celebrate our achievements, no matter how small. Each step forward is a triumph worth recognising. Dr. Carol Dweck, an expert in ambition, emphasises the importance of a growth mindset, where every experience, positive or negative, is an opportunity for learning and growth.
Top tip: We can use our small victories to increase our confidence. Even if we did not reach our goal, each small step forward empowers us to keep going.
9. Confidence is Key
Confidence can be a game-changer when it comes to getting what we want. Stand tall, make eye contact, and speak clearly. As communication expert Professor Albert Mehrabian notes, “Your body language and tone of voice can speak volumes.”
The previous steps such as knowing what to ask, using supportive family and friends, and being prepared all contribute to our belief in our ability to speak up for ourselves to get what we want.
Top tip: Fake it ’till we make it. Even if we don’t feel confident on the inside, we can show it on the outside, and guess what? Nobody knows the difference. If we stand tall, make eye contact, and speak clearly, we can exude confidence.
10. Practice Self-Care
Finally, we can’t forget to take care of ourselves throughout the process. Managing stress and prioritising self-care ensures we’re operating at our best.
Money worries are a big source of stress, so look around this website for tips about staying on top. We’ve also looked at how ‘mindfulness’ can help us unwind, even when we’re under pressure.
Top tip: Self-care looks different depending on what we need in the moment. Maybe self-care is taking a long shower or watching a favourite show. Maybe it’s responding to emails and staying on top of chores. Whatever it looks like, doing things to reduce our stress can help us manage our day-to-day lives and give us the resilience needed to stand up for ourselves.
Now, we might wonder why it seems like people with more financial means often get what they want more easily. The truth is, they may have access to more resources and opportunities, but the strategies outlined above are available to anyone, regardless of income level.
With these ten top tips in our arsenal, be can be more well-equipped to navigate life’s challenges and come out on top, all while keeping our cool.
Image: Hitdelight / Shutterstock
